Shorty..at lunch time!!!(That's me over at Chef's :-)
Deity..from his verandah!
My 'post-modern neo-classical' interpretation of Ms. Christie's Spanish Class..
Mr. Bryan explaining class rules..
< Cafeteria food....at Priory!!
'Always remember you're unique....just like everyone else'.. - Isaac-Henry 4th. form
'If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you' - My Father
'Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes, so when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes' - Everett Fenton
'Black History is any time dat !%$&^@! bwoy pass a class' - My Mother
'Is constipate an irregular verb'? - McKain asking Mrs. Williams in English
'I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair' - Carney
'It's easy to be wise. Think of something stupid to say..then don't say it' - Henriques
'Sorry I was late class. I locked my keys in the car but it was ok; I was still inside' - Isaac-Henry
'Hello Officer..Yes, I want to report a Home Invasion...I believe the suspect's name is Garth Miller officer..How do I know? Well..the children's MATH-HOMEWORK WAS COMPLETED!' - Anonymous
Arguing with Samuda was like holding this hand..with the game blocked!
I should have seen it all along: This was his apprenticeship for the ILLUMINATI :-)
'How could I lose in Book-Cricket? TO FENDER????... I gave Francois my lunch money for the week, to doctor the pages.... - Anonymous (3A)
'Earth to Andrew Francis, come in....'
This is how it felt to negotiate the lunch-line...
'..No..this is Lurch's Peak...I moved here after I got 17 O'levels with Distinction....AND ABEL GOT 20! ... '
The Girls' School seemed this far away to many of us...
'SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!!!!....' - JD
"Mr. Speaker...I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." - Manley
'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go' - Mrs. Mills
'Ninety percent of this game is half mental' - Anonymous (3rd. Form)
Signs beside the tennis-court to all 'yout' an' yout' fuss former BWOY DEM' attempting to find the legendary/mythical, 'NATTY CORNER'...
'Milton, wait about 5 more minutes so everyone can get here..we look a little short in attendance...' - Christopher Samuda at Patterson House ('Illuminati') meeting
'Is bigga dawg dan you come yah an' MAINGE TEK DEM' - The lady 'serving' in the cafeteria, when I asked if that tiny spot BETWEEN THE TWO MOUNTAINS OF BREAD really was 'bully beef'
'Bwoy...bucket wid hole a battam have no business ah riverside -Teacher (anon.)who saw me, 'glancing' at Cushnie's test paper, to MAKE 100% SURE WE BOTH HAD THE SAME ANSWERS....'
'Hog say, di fus water 'im ketch 'im walla-walla' -My reply to that Teacher
Is this who we think it is?
'Immortalized' in wood was the last thing......
For this work, I'd give the Sculptor 120%
Whoever controlled the set-up to supply 'Natty Corner' with cigarettes, 'other smoking accessories' and Afro-picks must have done well.....
'In his final humiliation, Shylock is forced to choose between his religion and his wealth. If he remains a Jew, he will be destitute, only if he gives up his faith will he be allowed to keep his money - even then only half of it' ....what I wished I would have said to Lloyd 'Moses' Bryan, instead of,'Well, Sir, yuh see, it was like dis...well, no...ahhhhm, it was really ('Lurch help me out nuh star??'), yuh see Sir, to sum it up'...
'No young man..that's not quite how I remember it....St. Juste?'
The 'Mouse on a One Dollar Bread' Award .For the time my father came to a session to take us home (totally unexpected to me and my little sister, who I was 'prenticing)...Sitting on a wall 'chucking it' with my crew and a car pulls up shining the light on me..ON THE FENCE..and the voice from Heaven saying 'I see yuh ..yuh ^&5$#$%#...then the Holy Ghost himself alights the car, IN SHORT BED PANTS, A WHITE MERINO, LONG BLACK SOCKS AND BED SLIPPERS.. AND FORCES ME TO WALK BACK INTO THE PARTY (HE IN TOW!!) TO GET MY LITTLE SISTER...WHILE THE SESSION WAS JAMMING!!! THEN, WHILE WALKING TO THE CAR I WAS BEING DEHUMANISEDfor the mere fact that my little sister had to be subject to such 'thuggery and slackness'..music, food and laughter!
The worst part is: The Light on the donkey's head andCHECK THE SPEED ON THE RADAR!
I'm serious..It is better to sleep on your side!
'Moses' Bryan: Azan?Personalise onomatopoeia for the class?
Azan:With due respect Mr. Bryan, I prefer to keep my bathroom habits private Sir...
Who ELSE have dem JOS bus-pass from 1976?? NOT TO MENTION NAMES...but..can we bring in Dr. (Wendell) Abel for the weekend...oops..wrong move.. he was the JOS 'DUCTOR IN HIS LAST LIFE!
('Yow big head yout'...small up yuhself in de back deh, mek nice miss can get a seat')
'Ah ongle 11% me get dis mont? SHAT AH GO LICK IF MY #$@%! DUNNY NO HAVE 'STRENT' NEX' MONT' - What the spolied among you say when you get your OLINT STATEMENT, forgetting the days when our 'fine banking institutions' gave us 3%..PER YEAR!!
Mr.Gilbert Smith:Don't hate on my little white car!!..It runs fine..you watch..one day my boys will be some top-class mechanics and people will come from all over for their expertise.....
The 'Delusional Awardee' : ITS A SIX-WAY TIE!
Mark Neita...'s FATHER !!! :-)
'Rev's' Jesse Jackson....... & .....Al Sharpton
Miguel Oliverre 'Coach' & 'Olympian'..WHAT A JOKE!
Wilbert Parkes, TD... 'Teacher'
Ricketts....TO ACTUALLY COME BACK ON THE CAMPUS!!!!
Anyone who tried to 'circumvent' the SPITTY/FRILLY Slipe Road. corn/raisin-bread & cheese monopoly! (This was the first time I experienced MONOPOLY, BUREAUCRACY, AND SAW FIRST HAND THE LAW OF SUPPLY/DEMAND AT WORK')
An actual note that was written in 5th Form, by one-who-will-remain-anonymous-for-fear-of-further-incrimination-for-his-uber-GUILTY-self....I just happened to be the 'unwitting' intermediary...
THE WANTON-DISRESPECT-FOR-LIFE AWARD goes to:
First day of prep. school, Mrs. Bradshaw(all 130 years old) whipped me across my back so hard, my daughter cried..when she was born! All this, for the egregious nature of my 'crimes' of talking while my head was on the desk supposed to be resting...
Mrs. Webster who beat me so bad with a 'long ruler' because I told her I had two names, a real and a nick-name..she said I CANNOT..CHOSE!
Any Contractor who 'builds' the roads in J.A.
To a certain relative who, when disciplined and told she would not be getting dinner as punishment, proceeded to go outside and plot...and once the dog was fed his cornmeal, summarily boxed the dawg away and inhaled his food for HER DINNER..poor ting (dawg!)
Me coming off the top of a steep road at 12 years old, on a fixed-wheel and ending up in a lady's front fence, with my BRAND-NEW Clark's shoes burnt out from trying to stop..then get home and my family looks at me and seh, 'poor ting..lawx, mek we try save de shoes'
Anybody parents ever beat dem and tell story same time, OR IS 'ONGLE ME'? That was my introduction to multi-tasking...in 1964!!
Anybody ever had such a mischievous reputation, YOU GET BEATEN FOR THINGS THEY THOUGHT YOU DID, BUT WEREN'T SURE..but.. 'just in case'....???
'Sir, why is it if it's something is sent by ship then it's a cargo, but if it's sent by road then it's a shipment?' - Azan asking Mr. Wood....before the caning..to 'distract' him :-))))
'That boy has a mind so fine that no idea can violate it' - Ms. Burgher..overheard in the Staff Room, after my 'Concerto in D-Flat' on the flute...didn't go quite the way she wanted....
'In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is' - 'Coach' Oliverre...giving the Cricket Team a BIT OF 'INSPIRED' TALK before the Sunlight Cup Final '78..NO WONDER TIVOLI TROUNCED US !!!!
*The Secret handshakes at Lunch...
*The Covert 'Nods' and 'Glances'.....
*The Covert Meetings reminiscent of 'Mission Impossible'...
*The Exchanges of Mysterious Parcels of hither-to-fore unknown information...(now we realise it was copies of the tests..to come..for their fellow 'Illuminated Ones')
* 'Brothers' stepping forward to pay for a 'bag-juice & bun' when their fellow 'Illuminated one', didn't have the funds....
*Meetings that should have been 30 minutes, lasting until LUNCH....
*The 'looking out' for opportunities to gain 'house-points' at ALL COSTS...
The MOSSAD and CIA now call it the ILLUMINATI...We, the simpletons of 'idlers' rest' first knew it as PATTERSON-HOUSE. Motto: 'If a leaf falls in the forest and no one knows....can Patterson still get the credit??